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              <text>First Days: Juan’s Account&#13;
&#13;
	The arrival of the Coronavirus and the lack of preparation for its arrival affected nearly everyone in the U.S. I reached out to a co-worker named Juan who agreed to share with me his experiences in dealing with the outbreak of COVID-19. I interviewed Juan on the 26th of September 2020 during our lunch break at work; we work in a restaurant where I work the line and he washes dishes. He was receptive of the idea when I asked to interview him; he was probably more surprised than anything, about my desire to interview him. But I chose him specifically because I believe his experiences could serve as a contrast to mine. While we are both of Mexican origin, there are also differences in our lives, I live in the suburbs of Old Bridge, whereas Juan lives in the city of Freehold. I still live with my parents, free of the burdens of paying rent, while he lives with his brother in an apartment. I am interviewing him so that I can get a different perspective on COVID-19 from someone whose life is different from mine.&#13;
	The first question I asked him was if he remembered what his life was like before the pandemic started. He exclaimed that his days were primarily spent going to work most of the week while spending his free time playing games online or drawing art. When I asked him if he remembered what he did exactly on March 11 (the day WHO declared COVID a pandemic), he admitted he didn’t remember at all. We shared a laugh when I told him that I really didn’t remember either. He told me that what he did remember was that on that day, he received a call from our manager telling him that he did not need to come to work for the foreseeable future. This effectively left him jobless, a fate that befell him and millions of other Americans; according to the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy, more than 20.6 million jobs were lost from mid-March to the end of April, a loss in employment not seen since the Great Depression in the 1930s . Businesses like restaurants were hit hardest under the pandemic, and workers like Juan were unfortunately affected financially from it.&#13;
	I asked Juan if he had been prepared for the issues that were about to ensue as a result of the coronavirus and he confided in me that he was not. The pandemic completely blindsided him. He had already been behind on his rent, and the loss of his job meant that paying rent was going to be much harder. In fact, by the end of March, Juan told me that he had to borrow $1,000 from his father just so that he keep up with his payments. Apparently even his own father was surprised at his predicament, as he told me that his father did indeed lend him the money that he asked for, as he knew Juan was not someone who asked for money unless he really needed it. Eventually he ended up coming back to work, which allowed him to get his finances in order. I told him that he must have felt relieved, which he promptly told me was the case. And just in time as well, as according to CNBC in July 2020, as up to 40 million Americans could lose their housing . &#13;
	I then asked him how he spent his days during the beginning of the pandemic. He told me that he mostly had free time to draw and go online, not too different from what he normally did. Of course, he also told me that by the second week, he was tired of being inside all the time. When I asked him if he would have risked COVID-19 just so that he could go back to work, he said he would have definitely taken the risk. Juan, like many other low-income workers, uses public transportation to get to and from other places. In his case, he takes the bus. I wondered if there any risk in taking public transportation while the pandemic was in effect, but according to the website Scientific American, the risk of catching COVID-19 from riding public transportation is not significantly higher than was once originally thought . Afterwards, I thanked Juan for allowing me to interview him for this project. He said it was no problem, but also said he didn’t think his experiences were worth writing about. I told him everyone deserves to have their voices heard and that his experiences will help illuminate future generations on how COVID-19 affected people from all walks of life.</text>
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              <text>&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Interviewer: Christopher Perez&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Interviewee: Juan Yahuitl&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Where: Moe’s Southwest Grill, Marlboro&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;When: September 26, 2020&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Christopher Perez: So, this interview is being conducted on the 26&lt;sup&gt;th&lt;/sup&gt; of September. Can I have your name please?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Juan Yahuitl: Juan Yahuitl&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Okay, and how do you spell that?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Y-A-H-U-I-T-L&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Okay, thank you. So, Juan, I’m going to ask you a few questions and you just answer them to the best of your ability. You can be as descriptive as you want. Sound good?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Yep.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Okay. So, first question: do you remember what your life was like before the coronavirus happened?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Um, basically it was mostly just waking up, going on the internet before coming to work and then working until close.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: What’d you do on your days off?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Mostly just go on the internet, play games like Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Links or draw. I’ve been trying to get commissions so that I could sell them online.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: You mean like sell your drawings?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Pretty much, yeah. They tell me what they want me to draw, I draw it and then give it to them for a price.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Wow, that’s pretty cool. So, moving on to our next question, do you remember anything that happened on March 11? Like, what your day was like on that day. Cause that was the day the coronavirus measures went into effect, I think.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Um… Nah, I don’t think so. I can’t remember.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: No? Nothing?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Not really. I pretty much forgot.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Eh, it’s okay. If someone asked me the same thing, I’d probably say the same thing.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;(We both laugh)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt; &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Actually, I do remember something.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Really? What was it?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: I lost my job that day.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Oh, ouch, really? What happened?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Nothing much. I remember getting a call from Lesli &lt;em&gt;(our manager at the time) &lt;/em&gt;telling me that they wouldn’t be needing me for a while.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: I’m assuming it’s because the dining room was closed during those months.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Probably. &lt;em&gt;(Juan’s main role at that time was cleaning the dining room)&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt; &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: So, was everything okay after that? I mean, losing your job must’ve sucked.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Eh… Not really. It actually made things worse.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Really? In what way?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: ‘Cause I was already late on the rent, and now I had no job. So, I was kinda screwed.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: So, what’d you do?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Well, at first, I kept hoping that I’d get called back to work. Lesli never told me how long I’d be out, so I thought it’d only last a week or 2. So when it almost April and they still never called me back, I had to borrow money from my dad.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Really? How much?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: About $1,000.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Damn. That’s a lot of money.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Yeah.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: What did your dad say? Was he angry or concerned?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Not really. I mean, he lent me the money no problem because he knows that I never ask him for money at all. I told him that I wasn’t going to be working for a while and that I needed help paying rent, so he lent me the money.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: So then he knew that this must’ve been serious.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: I guess.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: So you didn’t come back to work until around June, I think.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Yep. I got a call asking to come back to wash the dishes, which I know how to do, so I said yes and came back.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: That must’ve been a relief, huh?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Yeah. I was getting worried that I might’ve had to borrow more money again.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Crazy. So, since you were out of work for a few months, what did you do during quarantine?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Nothing much. Mostly I would draw or go online. Stuff that I usually do.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Did it get boring after a while?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Yeah. I was really bored after a while. I think like two weeks in I was really desperate to leave my apartment and do something.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: If they called you back to work, would you have risked it.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Definitely.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: How do you normally get to work? Do you take a taxi?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: No, I go by bus.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Do the buses get crowded?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: Sometimes, but not usually. Probably because of COVID and stuff.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Okay, well I think we’re running out of time so first of all, thank you Juan for agreeing to take part in this interview.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: No problem.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Were you nervous in anyway doing this interview?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;J: Not nervous, more like surprised. Like, because why choose me for this? I doubt anyone’s gonna care about what happened to me during COVID-19.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Because you’re someone who’s living through and experiencing COVID. Everyone deserves to be heard. When people read this, they’ll gain a better understanding about what COVID was.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: I guess you’re right.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;C: Anyway, once again thanks a lot for contributing, Juan. It was a big help.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;J: No problem.&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;h4&gt;How to have School Spirit: Unions, Solidarity, and Creative Writing&lt;/h4&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;I remember being a senior in high school and reading Marina Keegan’s essay,  &lt;a href="https://yaledailynews.com/blog/2012/05/27/keegan-the-opposite-of-loneliness/"&gt;“The Opposite of Loneliness&lt;/a&gt;”. I had heard people’s nostalgia about their “college days” or the “college experience” but Keegan’s idea of what she had felt at Yale was the first that I really aspired to. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;em&gt;“We don’t have a word for the opposite of loneliness, but if we did, I could say that’s what I want in life. What I’m grateful and thankful to have found at Yale, and what I’m scared of losing when we wake up tomorrow and leave this place. It’s not quite love and it’s not quite community; it’s just this feeling that there are people, an abundance of people, who are in this together. Who are on your team. When the check is paid and you stay at the table. When it’s four a.m. and no one goes to bed. That night with the guitar. That night we can’t remember. That time we did, we went, we saw, we laughed, we felt. ”&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;-Marina Keegan, The Opposite of Loneliness &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/em&gt;We spend a relatively brief amount of time as undergraduates yet for many of us it can be a space of transformation and momentum. Our “college experience” is a part of our lives through which we grow, learn, and actively share collective energy that we acquire in a nuanced way.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So what actually makes a University feel like the opposite of loneliness? Undergraduate students, graduate students, professors, staff, dining hall workers, janitorial staff, and of course the towns that Universities exist in, do the actual work of cultivating the college experience and creating a meaningful environment. Without the work of students and faculty who consistently build vibrant communities and student organizations,  it would be impossible to attract prospective students and donations. When people visit campus to determine if they want to come here, you give them a tour of student activities, the dining halls, the nearby city, and academics- you don’t simply have them meet an administrator to talk about the endowment.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But if students, faculty, workers, and surrounding cities are what sustain a university’s reputation and profit, then why are administrators given free rein to contribute to gentrification, use the endowment for unethical investments, and fail to provide adequate benefits or salaries for faculty and workers?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;No matter how affectionately we wear our school spirit, university administrative decisions are increasingly determined by accountants and lawyers (rather than faculty governance boards, worker councils, student representatives, or long term university members). Administrators and Board of Governors members seem to only see assets or expenses instead of an actual community that deserves a voice in university matters and recognition as stakeholders. And while the corporatization of the public university has been a major issue that unions and students have been pushing back against for decades, the pandemic has only made it worse.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;At Rutgers University, where I am a senior, our administration has the money to not need to make departmental cuts due to Covid.  As a state university, we did not see drastic changes in enrollment or government funding. We also have a $1.5 billion endowment, and this is the exact type of crisis that calls for tapping into it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Yet, Rutgers has announced over 1,000 layoffs including dining hall staff, mental health professionals, librarians, part-time lecturers, and departmental-level administrators. Graduate students are facing threats that the administration will not be extending their research, which effectively acts as a layoff by stopping their funding and benefits. Ultimately, students (many of whom are experiencing financial crises) are being asked to pay the same tuition while the classes that they love and the employees that are essential to the university are being cut.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And yes, education as a whole in this country is underfunded—we see this with both K-12 schools and universities— but administrators can protect themselves while unions have to consistently advocate for the bare minimum. In fact, as unions pushed back against layoffs, Rutgers administration hired Jackson-Lewis, a notorious union-busting law firm, which cost millions of dollars that they simply could have spent on sustaining the actual livelihood of Rutgers community members. They continue to now hire administrators and managers while declaring a hiring freeze for faculty and staff. To lay off adjunct faculty while prioritizing administrators feels like false advertising for the value of education that Rutgers is projecting to students.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Part-Time Lecturers (Adjunct/Contingent faculty)  teach over one-third of undergraduate classes at Rutgers but are paid as little as $5,500 per class without benefits. You may not realize which of your professors are adjuncts because they put in the same amount of work and are asked to perform at the same level as non-adjunct faculty. Lindsay Zafir explains the historical trajectory of adjunctification in her article “&lt;a href="https://forgeorganizing.org/article/organizing-neoliberal-university"&gt;&lt;span&gt;&lt;em&gt;Organizing the Neoliberal University”.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;em&gt;“It’s a well-worn line in the rap for any academic union: three-fourths of all faculty in the United States are contingent laborers. And well-worn for a reason. It’s an astounding number, especially when compared to the number of contingent faculty fifty years ago — roughly&lt;/em&gt;&lt;a href="https://prospect.org/labor/adjuncts-go-union/"&gt;&lt;em&gt; three percent&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;em&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;em&gt;This remarkable reconfiguration of labor in higher education coincided with the influx of more diverse groups of students and workers on college campuses in the latter half of the 20th century. At the same time, state disinvestment and subsequent privatization of public universities transformed higher education into a private commodity rather than a public good. As a result, women and people of color&lt;/em&gt;&lt;a href="https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2016/08/22/study-finds-gains-faculty-diversity-not-tenure-track"&gt;&lt;em&gt; disproportionately fill the ranks of contingent faculty&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;em&gt; while the makeup of the tenured faculty (largely white, majority male) has remained relatively unchanged since 1969. “  &lt;/em&gt;-Lindsay Zafir, The Forge &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Fighting the privatization of public universities, along with calls for making Academia equitable and fair to more diverse faculty who previously were not represented by the university,  entails a large quantity of work. Adding a broader discussion of how universities like Rutgers push contracts that create luxury apartments for students in surrounding cities or displace local middle school students to warehouses (read about the Defend Lincoln Annex Coalition in the references below), is an even more extensive conversation.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;For students, these conversations may require redefining how we show school spirit by using our voices to advocate for faculty and worker unions and the cities that we have entered and taken up space in. It also means fighting for our own voice in the Board of Governors/Trustee meetings and decision-making processes, as we are the biggest population at the university and we have a real ability to determine the reputation of the school. We should be vocal in defending the people and spaces that make us feel the opposite of loneliness, especially when they are made vulnerable by the university that is funded by our tuition and school spirit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Creative Writing Department at Rutgers is a space that is truly vital to my experience here and it is currently being threatened by a 20% budget cut. Getting to know strangers through their creative work is one of the most underrated ways of experiencing connection and community. I’ve met my best friends in my writing classes and have felt seen as a person in ways that will always stick with me. The department is mostly taught by PTLs whose salaries only take up 0.8% of the school’s total budget, yet somehow cutting PTL classes for Creative Writing was chosen as the best way to deal with the pandemic. By treating this department as sacrificial, it feels like the work of Creative Writing and Creativity is  being deeply underrated by the university.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But you don’t have to take just my word for it- I’ve created a &lt;a href="https://forms.gle/bm1qfWHK9krSnrX76"&gt;&lt;span&gt;google form&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt; asking for testimonials from Creative Writing students at Rutgers which received 72 responses in one day, and then passed 150 responses within five days. Many students talked about creative writing as one of the ways they were able to cope with personal traumas and mental health. They also, regardless of their academic discipline, described the creative writing classes as their favorite courses that they truly looked forward to and felt the most engaged in.  All of the responses signaled that Creative Writing classes should not only be saved, but given more recognition and funding.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;We should be honest about what creative writing sustains at Rutgers and what it empowers students to do whether it be through improved writing skills or overall community connection. We should value PTLs for how they are inspiring students to be creative despite the state of the world and the bleakness of corporatization and climate crisis. We should safeguard these wonderful parts of the university because without them many students would have no place to believe that creativity is important to academia and that their thoughts matter. I encourage everyone to read the anonymous responses &lt;a href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1vzmcTPgObKTNLTi2qrpm8iE92UiWa-uwQssbTR1J_S8/edit?usp=sharing"&gt;&lt;span&gt;here&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt; and to follow the campaign on Twitter: @norulayoffs! &lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>So, I actually went to Stevenson [University] and that’s how I knew Caroline [Smith] (see Caroline Smith Oral History) saw this opportunity. You know last, I’m trying to think, it was so long ago. I just remember we finished our last clinical. It was like the week after that and I went to one Practicum day, which is like, it's kind of like our last clinical before we become nurses. Like we are essentially on our own doing our own thing and I just I remember in Practicum actually getting the news notification about Tom Hanks getting Covid and that's when it like kind of started to become real because at clinical we were all “oh this is just gonna be like the flu like not the big of a deal” but then as like, it was literally the next week I was like this is getting serious. Like this isn't a joke. So we actually finished and then everything was on line. I can tell you I blacked out those last few months because I think it was just like a mix of disappointment, you know, like how are we... like not knowing what's going on, and like having to finish nursing school, which requires complete hands on online? And there expecting us you know to go into the field a few months later. So that was kind of, it was difficult, I don't know it was just like the weirdest feeling, I don't even know how to describe it. But I think the one thing that helped me get through was our professor, one of my professors, she's like “I’m not even gonna have you guys do a final. What I’m gonna have you do is just do journals about how you're feeling, how you're doing, how you're coping through all this. And that actually really, I didn't realize how much that would help me because like writing it down kind of felt like a palpable, a tangible, a real thing. It wasn’t just I don’t know what I’m feeling. But writing it down it's like this is what I’m feeling and it helped me see it and I was able to kind of accept the situation a little more and um... Yeah so that was last semester. So I work at Sinai [Hospital of Baltimore] now and they emailed us and they were like because of Governor Larry Hogan’s emergency state of order how like these nursing students can come in and work that was a little frightening ‘cause its was look traditionally you know you graduate, you get two - three months off, then you start working. But they were like no you guys can come in now. And I was like I don't know if I know anything. I started working in June and I got my license in July. So that started everything. &#13;
&#13;
Can you kind of go into just a little bit of what your day to day is as a nurse, a new nurse?&#13;
&#13;
So the unit I work on, I work on an intermediate care, it's not quite ICU and it's not quite a regular floor, so we're kind of inbetween. Although the intermediate care on my floor it could be ICU. I remember coming in and they were like “Oh yeah this is the Covid unit” and I’m like “That's wonderful. That's great.” But I’ll say this my third day there I was doing CPR on a person and I’m like, they weren't Covid thank god, but that, that was a little bewildering. But typically we just monitor the patients. Make sure that things are okay, but these patients could flip on you so quickly. Like they could be fine and the next thing you know they’re in ICU. I’ve seen it happen so many times with Covid and non-Covid. I will say during the summer it was okay. The Covid was manageable. We had Covid patients but it wasn’t overwhelming like it is now. But it was really interesting during the beginning when I started because you know the Remdesivir was coming out and Dexamethasone and the plama and all these treatments were coming out so I was kind of there with like the older nurses giving these treatments for Covid. That was interesting. I thought that was very cool. But we also get like non-Covid patients, but their very, very sick patients and it’s sad, but you find the smallest detail or change in them and your like this is going to go downhill very quickly. So that's why it's like we need to pick up on these things very quickly. I wanna send them to, I tell them I don’t want you to be here, I want you to be on a regular med-surg floor that's what I want, but. We’ve had patients there for, there was one patient who was there for like four months. And all the nurses knew him because he went between our floor, ICU, then came back down to us. Yeah it's just, it’s a strange time to be a new nurse. ‘Cause they always say your first year is gonna be your hardest cause you're still adjusting, you're still learning how to manage your time and assess these patients and pick up on those small changes. But right now it’s like sometimes, some days, it's just like you're just in a machine mode you just wanna get stuff done, but make sure everyone is still okay.&#13;
&#13;
Going into, obviously when you choose your major way back when before this was even a thought in your head, how did you almost come to terms with this is what I thought nursing was gonna be and this is what I thought I was gonna be doing and now here I am doing something completely different?&#13;
&#13;
It’s actually funny that you ask that question cause, so I went into nursing I became interest in it because my cousin was going to nursing school but then I had to go to the hospital when I was like sixteen and i was liek I wanna be a nurse like that's what I wanna do. Now I thought throughout high school, throughout college, I would say even until probably my last semester in college I’m like I’m gonna be working in pediatrics. I’m gonna be working with kids. That's what I’m gonna do. Then you know I went through my critical care clinical and I’m like I love this. This is what I wanna do. And I loved pediatrics like my clinical was on an adolescent floor and I couldn’t do little kids. I realized that I couldn’t do the little ones. I could do adolescents. They're chill, they're about our age, they understand. My direction completely flipped cause I thought I was gonna be working in one field and now I’m working with old people and I love them. I love my old people. And I’m working in critical care. Like I never thought that would happen. You know even junior year I’m like nursing is so great you get to interact with the patients. I mean they seem stressed but you know with like, even when we were in the ICU for my clinical it was like okay this is kind of a controlled situation, it's stressful, but it's controlled. I would never have thought when I started it would just be whatever's going on now. That was another thing I was struggling with when it first started cause I was like, I had to learn that this was out of my control, this is out of a lot of peoples control. So I kind of have to roll with the punches and it's a lot of punches but. It's something we have to get through and everyone keeps telling me this is going to make you a stronger nurse like every nurse is going through this right now. It's not just the new grads. I thought nursing was going to be comepekty different. Not this whole pandemic, everyones dying, no. And I also, one thing I didn't realize was the emotional connection you make with your patients. That's one thing I really like. I think we have this tendency to go in and be like okay you're just kind of checking things off getting through your day you know. You see them as patients. It’s when they have family come in and you're talking to the family that light switch is like this could be my grandmother, my mother, you know like they’re a human being too. You do develop such an emotional connection with them. I’m like I don't know these people, they’re strangers to me but you feel like you know them so well by the end of your shift and it's even better if you have them like multiple days in a row cause it’s like I know you and I know if something changes I know how to tell the doctor. &#13;
&#13;
In the beginning when you first realized that you were gonna be going to work at a hospital sooner than you thought you would, were you afraid or like what emotions were you feeling then?&#13;
&#13;
I think part of it, I was definitely a little afraid especially knowing I was going on a Covid unit and knowing that I missed my practicum, I missed a while clinical, and I just felt a little underprepared. But also, most people in my class didn't start working until August. So I realized okay I’m able to get this practice, this experience, cause I was still a student at the time I didn't have my license so it was technically like a clinical, but I was like okay this is gonna be okay, I’m just getting extra practice and I won’t be walking in as nurse not knowing what to do I’ll have some idea of what I’m doing when I’m officially licensed. As a twenty one, twenty two year old it's like I feel like this has taken away from my early twenties. Like I should not be working this early. I just wanna have some fun. So I mean there was like the professional side of it, but also like I had just got out of college I missed the end, I wasn’t the only one but, missing the end of senior year is like there’s so much I still need to do. Like have fun. I don’t wanna waste my time at work but I’m happy that I did start early cause I felt very, very prepared once I was on my own. &#13;
&#13;
In terms of you know you go to work and then you come home what are some of the things that you do to kind of like destress, decompress like at least try to?&#13;
&#13;
Wine. Wine. Wine. No, lately it's been wine. It's been a little stressful the past couple weeks but on a normal basis I come home I realize that I need to showerbecause that actually relaxes me. I really enjoy reading. It kind of takes my mind away from everything. And you know over the summer when things were a little better and we could you know see people easier I would make it a point to go see my friends. ‘Cause that way I was like going out. I wasn't at work, we were just having fun. Spending time with friends and reading have been like my two biggest things. Lately it’s been wine, but that’s gonna end soon ‘cause everyones gonna be following the rules and we're not gonna be having this keep going on. And honestly my coworkers are like great. They’re so supportive so at least I don't have that stressful aspect. And it’s always fun cause like after work we’ll walk out together and just talk about random stuff and even yesterday when I got off of work there was a group of us we were just standing in the middle of the hallway talking. Like we were about to leave, but I don't know we were just talking for a good twenty minutes and that was just really relaxing to just take my mind of the day and you know like cause the way we tell stories is just like it makes the situation so much better if you tell it in a way that’s funny even if it's probably not appropriate but its just how we get through.&#13;
&#13;
I think that's it for questions that I have. So unless there's anything else that you wanna make sure that you get to mention?&#13;
&#13;
One thing that will always stick with me is I walked into, this was my first day on the unit, I walk in this patient’s room, he was about to get downgraded but he was like “You know what gets me a hospital stay?” I’m like what? He’s like I always say “This to will pass.” And I’m like that's when I was just like oh my goodness. Like it's so true it will pass when I don't know. But I think having that mentality, just you have to go in with a positive attitude cause just having a negative one it’s just its gonna make your day so much worse. That was probably the one thing that has stuck with me this entire time and is still sticking with me. Also everyone please get your vaccines. Please get you vaccines the flu one and when they [Covid vaccines] become available in the near future. I just want everyone to know like we will get through this.&#13;
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