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              <text>&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;A Bet&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;On March 10, 2020, I lost a bet. I had organized a loose group of Rutgers-Newark instructors to go in on a pool – for bragging rights only – about when Rutgers University would close the three campuses due to the coronavirus threat. We all received an email in the mid-afternoon on March 10 that Rutgers was cancelling classes as of Thursday March 12 and, after Spring Break, moving online for two weeks as of March 23. The pool was a light-hearted way to process uncertainty and budding grief about a world we were about to lose. What sticks out in my mind nearly seven months later, however, is how most got involved in this pool. I ran into various colleagues in indoor hallways at Rutgers, with nobody wearing masks or social distancing, and, while chatting, I cajoled them to name a date. Such carefree interactions, even if against a looming darkness, are, for now, a relic of the past.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;A Dinner&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;On March 11, 2020, I went to a pre-conference dinner held on campus at Rutgers University-New Brunswick. There were about 15 of us present, fewer than originally planned. Our numbers were reduced because some attendees had their flights cancelled and so could not attend. Also, we were complying with new rules, just instituted by Rutgers, that capped the number of people who could gather together on campus.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Upon arriving at the dinner, nobody wanted to shake hands. How do you greet people professionally, in Western contexts, without shaking hands? One of the last attendees to arrive put out her hand for me to shake, and I almost did so before jerking back my hand. So awkward. After dinner, it came out that one of the people present was a medical doctor, and so we all surrounded him and began bombarding him with questions. Will the pandemic really be that bad? What’s going to change in hospitals? Should we pull our kids out of school? Why is there no testing available? What can we do to protect ourselves?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;A Conference&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;On March 12, 2020, I attended and spoke at a conference on Islamophobia at Rutgers-New Brunswick. We had anticipated a large crowd and so were holding the event in a cavernous auditorium with hundreds of seats. But now that the pandemic was on, we proceeded sans audience and livestreamed it. There were never more than about twenty of us in a room that could seat 500. I had given a lot of talks in my academic career to sparsely populated rooms, but never one quite as large and quite as empty as this one.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;One of my co-panelists emailed us before he came to the conference saying that one of his kids was sick with a cold, but that he could not imagine it was coronavirus and so would attend the conference anyways. I found this exchange odd at the time, both that my colleague would bother to mention a child’s runny nose and that I felt slightly uneasy about it. Later I came to see how his email represented a transitional moment, where the just-declared pandemic had changed us enough that you would bother to disclose that your kid had a daycare cold but we had not yet reached the point where such symptoms meant you stayed home. We all had lunch together at the conference, in a small room, indoors.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;While at the conference, I kept up on coronavirus news on my phone. My husband sent me this photo from our local Trader Joe’s grocery story, taken around 5 p.m. on March 12, 2020 that depicted bare shelves.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;Writing that evening, I closed my journal entry for March 12, with this:&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;News is coming fast and furious on COVID-19. Time of uncertainty and fear. It is a scandal that the US had so little testing and the resulting ignorance is fuelling fear.&lt;/p&gt;</text>
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              <text>&lt;em&gt;On October 4, 2020, I interviewed Paula A., my grandmother, about her experiences during the first days of the pandemic, specifically around March 11, 2020, when the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 as a pandemic. Paula is a New Jersey resident in her late 70’s. While she was watching the news frequently in early March and following what was happening with the virus, particularly in New York, she assumed that the virus would be kept under control in America. She had believed that we had the best doctors and the most up to date medicine, and therefore was not very concerned with the idea of the virus becoming widespread as it did in other countries. This mentality quickly changed as schools, like Rutgers University, announced that they were going online, as well as churches shutting down.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;     Paula mentioned that the closing of universities and specifically churches, which in her whole lifetime had never been closed, forced her to recognize that Covid-19 was going to be a very serious issue with large impacts. While in the beginning of March she was not worried, anxious, or scared about the coronavirus, by mid-March she was very concerned. Her concern, just like the spread of the virus, progressed very rapidly. She noted that while the public was being told not to worry about things like having to wear a mask at the very beginning of the pandemic, she thought it would a good idea to have some for her and her family. She had heard on tv that there was a shortage of masks for healthcare workers. She was a seamstress and had materials, so she donated them in mid-late March to an organization that made masks for healthcare workers. However, while donating she recognized that it would be a safe, smart decision to have masks, even if homemade. Thus, she started sewing masks for herself and her family. Little did we know that masks would be required in essentially all spaces and environments for months to come.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;     As soon as Paula became aware of the severity of the pandemic, she became very frustrated and angered by President Trump downplaying it. She continued to watch the news every day, and made distinctions between federal and state responses to the pandemic. She remembered frequently listening to reports early on from the Governors of New Jersey and New York, Governor Murphy and Governor Cuomo, because they followed scientific guidelines put out by the CDC. In comparison, she only watched President Trump on the news when Dr. Fauci was present and would be speaking, because the president totally disregarded those scientific guidelines. Paula understood that this pandemic had a certain sense of urgency, because this virus can affect all groups of people. She recalled the announcements of the covid-19 pandemic and the AIDS/HIV epidemic of the 1980’s. While she felt sympathy for those impacted by the AIDS/HIV epidemic, she considered the covid-19 pandemic more worrisome at first thought because it has the potential to affect every human being, rather than a targeted population. It is this great sense of urgency that angered and frustrated her when she found out that President Trump downplayed the pandemic, and that there continue to be people who refuse to wear masks out in public. She considers these people and President Trump selfish, ignorant of reality, and as having a total disregard for others. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;     In the months since these first days of the pandemic Paula’s concern has grown, but not necessarily for herself. Paula was even hospitalized in early June, during the pandemic, and was still not as concerned for herself as she was for others like essential and healthcare workers! She had thought that she had coronavirus during this time, as she could not breathe, had pneumonia (a common occurrence for people who contract the virus) and had to be put on oxygen and moved to the ICU unit in the hospital. Despite this, and the fact that she is part of the age group that is more susceptible to the virus, she tested negative several times for the virus and was out of the hospital within a week, which her doctors said was a miracle. While this may seem like it could cause worry and fear for someone, Paula recalls feeling that she was receiving the best care at the hospital and was more worried for those who have to go out and come into contact with others frequently, as this would leave a person more exposed to the virus. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;     On a personal level, Paula considers herself very fortunate, especially being that she still is able to spend time with her family. She believes the reason she might be less concerned for herself than others is because her family is very cautious, follows social distancing guidelines, wears masks as much as possible, and those in her household are more cautious than she is. On a broader level, she is concerned about the lasting effects of the virus and the future of the country, in terms of the president, our economy, people’s jobs, and the psychological impact of young people in school. She believes it will take years for life to get back to some semblance of normal, but what that normal will be is unknown to both her and others.</text>
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              <text>A Graduate Student's Perspective on the First Days of the Coronavirus Pandemic&#13;
&#13;
	Before the coronavirus came to the United States of America, I did not take the virus all that seriously. I remember from my youth there were a number of other disease “panics” every so often. But at least from my personal perspective, it always seemed as if all the worry was completely for naught. Even though I knew that these diseases were infecting some people in my home country, they never really impacted my life in any meaningful way. When I first heard about the virus in China, I assumed it would be the same as all the other past disease panics. I was sure that some people in America would be infected by COVID-19 and the media would make a big deal about it, but I thought that the virus would pass without much incident in a couple of months.  In fact, I was so sure that the virus would not amount to much that I even made jokes about the coronavirus to some of my friends. I remember one of the jokes started off when I overheard one of my friends talking about how one of their family members was worried about their sick child. In order to lighten the mood, I quickly quipped “He obviously has the coronavirus” and the room burst out laughing. The child of course obviously did not have COVID, since this was way before the virus landed in America, so we could all laugh assured that everything with the child would be fine. I still find that moment funny today, but more in ironic way than the joke was originally intended to be taken. This is all to say, in early March of 2020, I would have never imagined the coronavirus would have impacted my life as much as it has over the last six months.&#13;
&#13;
My perception on the coronavirus completely changed when I heard the players on the Utah Jazz had contracted the virus in early March of 2020. The memory of the opening of the Utah Jazz and Oklahoma City Thunder basketball game on March 11th, 2020 is still burned in my mind. The pre-game started off just like any other during the NBA regular season. The players were warming up on the court, the commentators were breaking down what each team needed to do to win, and the fans were getting excited for the upcoming game. But slowly but surely, you could tell that something was wrong in Chespeake Energy Arena. The player and coaches were suspiciously talking to the referees, the commentators had a confused tone in their voice, and Utah Jazz center Rudy Gobert was out from the game with a mystery unnamed illness. Then after what was supposed to be a “short delay,” the players left the court and the PA announcer told the audience that the game was cancelled. It then came out the following day that star players on the Utah Jazz Rudy Gobert and Donovan Mitchell had contracted COVID-19. People, myself sometimes included, often think of celebrities and athletes as super humans who are immune from things like diseases. When a celebrity does come down with a disease, especially ones as popular as Rudy Gobert and Donovan Mitchell, it lets the public know that the disease is something to be reckoned with. Once I saw this happen, I knew that my life was going to be dramatically changed for the foreseeable future.&#13;
&#13;
The very next day, on March 12th, I had my usually scheduled appointment with my counselor. Before I started with the counselor I am with now, I was in a really dark place in my life. These regularly scheduled meetings helped add some much needed normally and routine to my weekly schedule. But there was something a little bit out of the ordinary about this week’s visit. On the secretary’s desk where I normally signed in, there was little bottle of hand sanitizer. The secretary, who had obviously heard about the newly named pandemic, motioned for me to use the hand sanitizer. This in and of itself was not that big of a hassle for me, after all it only took five seconds of my time, but it represented the first of many changes in my life. That visit was actually the last time that I saw my councilor in person, even to this very day. A lot of the places that I used to frequent followed their temporarily shut down, which meant I had almost nowhere to go so that I could socialize with my friends. And perhaps worst of all, I became afraid to go outside, even for the simplest of things. The pandemic and my fear of it had essentially destroyed the careful schedule that I had planned out for myself.&#13;
&#13;
The current coronavirus pandemic should serve as a forewarning for how to handle future potential disease pandemics. Many people, including myself, did not take the early days of the pandemic seriously enough. There was a very popular mindset early on during the pandemic that life should just go on as normal. I still remember seeing photos of people crowding beaches in Florida like nothing was wrong at all. This mindset created the perfect situation for the virus to thrive. Thanks to medical and scientific research, the general public now knows of easy steps that they can take in order to stop the spread of future potential infectious diseases like the coronavirus, like social distancing and wearing a mask. Whenever we learn of potential infectious diseases spreading to America in the future, we must make sure that we take these preventative steps from the very beginning, in order to prevent the situation from getting as bad as the current coronavirus pandemic. I know for certain that I will never be laughing at a disease like COVID-19 ever again.&#13;
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              <text>&lt;div&gt;“The First Days” of a Nurse&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class="gmail-Apple-tab-span"&gt; &lt;/span&gt;&lt;em&gt;I interviewed my mother who is a registered nurse at a hospital and a surgery center in New Jersey. Many of the questions I had asked her related to her experiences as a professional nurse, working in a hospital during a crisis. &lt;/em&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;&lt;em&gt;She discusses the stresses and emotions involved, as well as the difficulty of the world changing around her. Interestingly, she also includes comparisons of the life of healthcare under COVID-19 as well as HIV (which struck when she first became a nurse). Overall, she explained the stress of a changing world, trauma of loss, and the resilience and professionalism of our healthcare workers. &lt;/em&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class="gmail-Apple-tab-span"&gt; &lt;/span&gt;In the early days of the virus, she recalls the fear of COVID-19, and how it came from its mysterious nature (i.e the “unknown”). She talked about the numerous changes that she and her hospital had faced from the rise of the virus. From things as simple as “not carrying a pocketbook to work anymore,” to things of great magnitude like not allowing critically sick patients to see their families. She brought up how wearing masks and gowns were always common, as people who are sick or contagious are common in her operating room. However, the swift and sudden strike of COVID-19 made it extremely stressful on keeping everything together during the first days. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class="gmail-Apple-tab-span"&gt; &lt;/span&gt;She also includes her ideas on how the healthcare world functioned well as a community in the face of such danger. It was remarkable to hear how things such as studies and methods were constantly being shared among each other for the sake of handling the virus better. It truly showed the care, resilience and duty that each healthcare worker holds to such a great degree.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class="gmail-Apple-tab-span"&gt; &lt;/span&gt;Mrs. Tedesco also compares the “first days” of COVID-19, to the “first days” of HIV. She discusses the commonalities and differences between the two viruses and how a seasoned and novice nurse reacts to such instances. She discusses how the themes of making the patient feel safe and appreciated were just as important and common back then. She also points out the seriousness of HIV, but admits that COVID-19 was increasingly difficult due to it’s “crash-course” nature, and how everything needed to be learned immediately for the sake of many sick people.&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;div&gt;&lt;span class="gmail-Apple-tab-span"&gt; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;Mrs. Tedesco also refrains from discussing the impact of COVID-19 on herself, specifically. She refrained from admitting what scared her, or what made her uncomfortable. She constantly put her own concerns aside and put all her sympathies towards the people she was tasked with taking care of. Her concerns or the safety and treatment of her patients came before all else. Aidina Wise discusses the use of “war metaphors” and COVID-19. She dislikes the comparison, as war implies the “all bets are off” mentality, while healthcare should involve less ruthlessness of an approach. I find myself disagreeing with her, as this approach is very clear. People like my mother stop at nothing to ensure the proper care for the patients. “All bets were off” in this sense, as all was to be done to take care of sick people. She and her colleagues used this ruthlessness to not give it an inch, no matter the person or situation.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It was reassuring to know the care and determination of our healthcare employees. It is understandable that what they go through can never be grasped by the majority of people, including myself. However, it is appreciated nonetheless. Hopefully, future historians will firsthand hear the bravery of these remarkable people. &lt;/div&gt;</text>
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              <text>A Registered Nurse’s Perspective on the First Days of the Coronavirus Pandemic&#13;
	&#13;
I interviewed a registered nurse in order to get the perspective of someone in the medical field on the coronavirus. Experts on infectious diseases Nasim Lotfinejad, Alexandra Peters, and Didier Pittet wrote Hand hygiene and the novel coronavirus pandemic: the role of healthcare workers about the difficulties of being a nurse during the pandemic, “Their frequent exposure to pathogens, long working hours, stressful work environment and fatigue predispose them to acquire or transmit infections such as COVID-19.” (Lotfinejad, Peters, and Pittet 776) Due to the nature of their jobs, nurses are put at extreme risk of catching infectious diseases like COVID-19. But yet, their jobs are essential for any society to overcome the pandemic., I wanted to tell the story of someone who had to put so much on the line just to do their job and help people. The nurse that I choose to interview, who choose to remain anonymous, is a fifty seven year old woman who lives in central New Jersey. She has spent the past thirty-five years in active practice as a registered nurse. She has worked twenty-eight years in a hospital, five years teaching nurses, and the past two years in a private medical manufacturing company. Even though she no longer works in a hospital, she is still at risk of catching COVID-19 through her interactions with people who come in to donate blood. Her experiences and perspectives on the pandemic are invaluable for our understanding of how the wider public is dealing with this deadly disease.&#13;
	&#13;
The very first thing that I asked this registered nurse was her initial reaction to the COVID-19. She told me that, as a medical professional, she was aware of the virus from almost the very beginning. Before the COVID-19 virus came to America, she thought that the virus would be able to be contained by the United States’ government. She compared COVID-19 dismissively to past disease “panics” such as SARs and Ebola. She and I displayed an attitude toward COVID-19 during the first days of the pandemic that historian David S. Jones argues in COVID‐19, History, and Humility helped the virus spread. He specifically wrote, “…too many people in too many countries were content to downplay the threat until it was too late…we now grapple with the consequences of our complacency and wonder how it will all end.” (Jones 372) As there has not been a pandemic of this magnitude since the Spanish Flu which occurred nearly one hundred years ago, people did not know just how severe COVID-19’s effects would be on the country. Many assumed, such as this registered nurse and her interviewer, that it would pass through the United States without much incident due to prior disease panics. As Jones described, this complacency ultimately created the conditions where the virus thrived. When we finally did grasp the severity of the COVID-19 virus, the virus had already affected hundreds of thousands in America.&#13;
&#13;
As a medical professional, I thought it would be important to ask her what precautions she and her medical manufacturing company took during the early days of the pandemic to prevent the spread of COVID-19 amongst staff and customers. Lotfinejad, Peters, and Pittet wrote that, “Most healthcare-acquired infections could be avoided by well-trained nurses with appropriate hand hygiene compliance and use of protective equipment.” (Lotfinejad, Peters, and Pittet 776) Through the use of protective gear, it is possible for nurses and other health professionals to prevent the spread of infectious diseases like COVID-19. Before the pandemic, at this registered nurse’s job they would normally wear a white lab coat, plastic gloves, and a clear face shield for hygienic reasons. When the virus was first declared a pandemic on March 11, 2020, her superiors gathered all employees and told them that the personal protective equipment that they were already wearing would be sufficient to protect them from the virus. About a month after the virus was declared a pandemic, a couple of people working at her job in their early twenties had become sick with the virus. This development worried the registered nurse, as she was an older woman and knew the risks that the virus presented to someone her age. As an extra precautionary measure, her job has since required her to wear an N-95 mask in addition to all of the normal required gear when dealing with customers. This registered nurse’s experiences show that everyone’s understanding of the protective measures needed to prevent the spread of COVID-19 has evolved since the beginning of the pandemic.&#13;
&#13;
In order to close things out, I asked the registered nurse about her overall thoughts about the coronavirus pandemic. She seemed flabbergasted at all that had happened since those first days of the pandemic. In order to illustrate her feelings, she compared her experience during the pandemic to the aftermath of the 9/11 terrorist attack.  She said during the attack, she was very afraid, but her life more or less returned to normal during the next couple of days. Whereas with the pandemic, she had to alter the very ways in which she lived her life. She expressed extreme frustration that she had difficulty getting something as simple as groceries from her local convenience store. The frustration that this registered nurse is experiencing is something that many people from all around the world are feeling right now. Beckie Supiano gives a good summary of this feeling in Why Is Zoom So Exhausting?, “…so many people want to project to others that they’re doing business as usual, even while the news is full of “images of death, of illness, of economic downturn and collapse.””(Supiano 7) Many people just want things to return to the version of “normal” that they had before the pandemic. The general public will certainly remember this feeling of frustration for a very long time. Maybe that memory of frustration will motivate the public to take the next potential pandemic more seriously right from the very beginning, so that pandemic never get nearly as severe as the current coronavirus pandemic. But this visage of the future can only occur can only occur if people take the right lessons from the first days of the coronavirus pandemic.&#13;
This interview was conducted in person and recorded on an iPad and iPhone on October 2nd, 2020&#13;
 &#13;
Work Cited&#13;
Jones DS. COVID‐19, “History, and Humility. Centaurus.” 2020;62(2):370-380. doi:10.1111/1600-0498.12296&#13;
Lotfinejad N, Peters A, Pittet D. “Hand Hygiene and the Novel Coronavirus Pandemic: The Role of Healthcare Workers.” The Journal of hospital infection. 2020;105(4):776-777. doi:10.1016/j.jhin.2020.03.017&#13;
Morrissey, Kenneth F, and a Registered Nurse. “Interview of a Registered Nurse about the Early Days of the COVID-19 Pandemic.” 2 Oct. 2020.&#13;
Supiano, Beckie. “Why Is Zoom So Exhausting?” Chronicle.com, The Chronicle of Education, 22 July 2020, www.chronicle.com/article/why-is-zoom-so-exhausting/.&#13;
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              <text>So, I actually went to Stevenson [University] and that’s how I knew Caroline [Smith] (see Caroline Smith Oral History) saw this opportunity. You know last, I’m trying to think, it was so long ago. I just remember we finished our last clinical. It was like the week after that and I went to one Practicum day, which is like, it's kind of like our last clinical before we become nurses. Like we are essentially on our own doing our own thing and I just I remember in Practicum actually getting the news notification about Tom Hanks getting Covid and that's when it like kind of started to become real because at clinical we were all “oh this is just gonna be like the flu like not the big of a deal” but then as like, it was literally the next week I was like this is getting serious. Like this isn't a joke. So we actually finished and then everything was on line. I can tell you I blacked out those last few months because I think it was just like a mix of disappointment, you know, like how are we... like not knowing what's going on, and like having to finish nursing school, which requires complete hands on online? And there expecting us you know to go into the field a few months later. So that was kind of, it was difficult, I don't know it was just like the weirdest feeling, I don't even know how to describe it. But I think the one thing that helped me get through was our professor, one of my professors, she's like “I’m not even gonna have you guys do a final. What I’m gonna have you do is just do journals about how you're feeling, how you're doing, how you're coping through all this. And that actually really, I didn't realize how much that would help me because like writing it down kind of felt like a palpable, a tangible, a real thing. It wasn’t just I don’t know what I’m feeling. But writing it down it's like this is what I’m feeling and it helped me see it and I was able to kind of accept the situation a little more and um... Yeah so that was last semester. So I work at Sinai [Hospital of Baltimore] now and they emailed us and they were like because of Governor Larry Hogan’s emergency state of order how like these nursing students can come in and work that was a little frightening ‘cause its was look traditionally you know you graduate, you get two - three months off, then you start working. But they were like no you guys can come in now. And I was like I don't know if I know anything. I started working in June and I got my license in July. So that started everything. &#13;
&#13;
Can you kind of go into just a little bit of what your day to day is as a nurse, a new nurse?&#13;
&#13;
So the unit I work on, I work on an intermediate care, it's not quite ICU and it's not quite a regular floor, so we're kind of inbetween. Although the intermediate care on my floor it could be ICU. I remember coming in and they were like “Oh yeah this is the Covid unit” and I’m like “That's wonderful. That's great.” But I’ll say this my third day there I was doing CPR on a person and I’m like, they weren't Covid thank god, but that, that was a little bewildering. But typically we just monitor the patients. Make sure that things are okay, but these patients could flip on you so quickly. Like they could be fine and the next thing you know they’re in ICU. I’ve seen it happen so many times with Covid and non-Covid. I will say during the summer it was okay. The Covid was manageable. We had Covid patients but it wasn’t overwhelming like it is now. But it was really interesting during the beginning when I started because you know the Remdesivir was coming out and Dexamethasone and the plama and all these treatments were coming out so I was kind of there with like the older nurses giving these treatments for Covid. That was interesting. I thought that was very cool. But we also get like non-Covid patients, but their very, very sick patients and it’s sad, but you find the smallest detail or change in them and your like this is going to go downhill very quickly. So that's why it's like we need to pick up on these things very quickly. I wanna send them to, I tell them I don’t want you to be here, I want you to be on a regular med-surg floor that's what I want, but. We’ve had patients there for, there was one patient who was there for like four months. And all the nurses knew him because he went between our floor, ICU, then came back down to us. Yeah it's just, it’s a strange time to be a new nurse. ‘Cause they always say your first year is gonna be your hardest cause you're still adjusting, you're still learning how to manage your time and assess these patients and pick up on those small changes. But right now it’s like sometimes, some days, it's just like you're just in a machine mode you just wanna get stuff done, but make sure everyone is still okay.&#13;
&#13;
Going into, obviously when you choose your major way back when before this was even a thought in your head, how did you almost come to terms with this is what I thought nursing was gonna be and this is what I thought I was gonna be doing and now here I am doing something completely different?&#13;
&#13;
It’s actually funny that you ask that question cause, so I went into nursing I became interest in it because my cousin was going to nursing school but then I had to go to the hospital when I was like sixteen and i was liek I wanna be a nurse like that's what I wanna do. Now I thought throughout high school, throughout college, I would say even until probably my last semester in college I’m like I’m gonna be working in pediatrics. I’m gonna be working with kids. That's what I’m gonna do. Then you know I went through my critical care clinical and I’m like I love this. This is what I wanna do. And I loved pediatrics like my clinical was on an adolescent floor and I couldn’t do little kids. I realized that I couldn’t do the little ones. I could do adolescents. They're chill, they're about our age, they understand. My direction completely flipped cause I thought I was gonna be working in one field and now I’m working with old people and I love them. I love my old people. And I’m working in critical care. Like I never thought that would happen. You know even junior year I’m like nursing is so great you get to interact with the patients. I mean they seem stressed but you know with like, even when we were in the ICU for my clinical it was like okay this is kind of a controlled situation, it's stressful, but it's controlled. I would never have thought when I started it would just be whatever's going on now. That was another thing I was struggling with when it first started cause I was like, I had to learn that this was out of my control, this is out of a lot of peoples control. So I kind of have to roll with the punches and it's a lot of punches but. It's something we have to get through and everyone keeps telling me this is going to make you a stronger nurse like every nurse is going through this right now. It's not just the new grads. I thought nursing was going to be comepekty different. Not this whole pandemic, everyones dying, no. And I also, one thing I didn't realize was the emotional connection you make with your patients. That's one thing I really like. I think we have this tendency to go in and be like okay you're just kind of checking things off getting through your day you know. You see them as patients. It’s when they have family come in and you're talking to the family that light switch is like this could be my grandmother, my mother, you know like they’re a human being too. You do develop such an emotional connection with them. I’m like I don't know these people, they’re strangers to me but you feel like you know them so well by the end of your shift and it's even better if you have them like multiple days in a row cause it’s like I know you and I know if something changes I know how to tell the doctor. &#13;
&#13;
In the beginning when you first realized that you were gonna be going to work at a hospital sooner than you thought you would, were you afraid or like what emotions were you feeling then?&#13;
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I think part of it, I was definitely a little afraid especially knowing I was going on a Covid unit and knowing that I missed my practicum, I missed a while clinical, and I just felt a little underprepared. But also, most people in my class didn't start working until August. So I realized okay I’m able to get this practice, this experience, cause I was still a student at the time I didn't have my license so it was technically like a clinical, but I was like okay this is gonna be okay, I’m just getting extra practice and I won’t be walking in as nurse not knowing what to do I’ll have some idea of what I’m doing when I’m officially licensed. As a twenty one, twenty two year old it's like I feel like this has taken away from my early twenties. Like I should not be working this early. I just wanna have some fun. So I mean there was like the professional side of it, but also like I had just got out of college I missed the end, I wasn’t the only one but, missing the end of senior year is like there’s so much I still need to do. Like have fun. I don’t wanna waste my time at work but I’m happy that I did start early cause I felt very, very prepared once I was on my own. &#13;
&#13;
In terms of you know you go to work and then you come home what are some of the things that you do to kind of like destress, decompress like at least try to?&#13;
&#13;
Wine. Wine. Wine. No, lately it's been wine. It's been a little stressful the past couple weeks but on a normal basis I come home I realize that I need to showerbecause that actually relaxes me. I really enjoy reading. It kind of takes my mind away from everything. And you know over the summer when things were a little better and we could you know see people easier I would make it a point to go see my friends. ‘Cause that way I was like going out. I wasn't at work, we were just having fun. Spending time with friends and reading have been like my two biggest things. Lately it’s been wine, but that’s gonna end soon ‘cause everyones gonna be following the rules and we're not gonna be having this keep going on. And honestly my coworkers are like great. They’re so supportive so at least I don't have that stressful aspect. And it’s always fun cause like after work we’ll walk out together and just talk about random stuff and even yesterday when I got off of work there was a group of us we were just standing in the middle of the hallway talking. Like we were about to leave, but I don't know we were just talking for a good twenty minutes and that was just really relaxing to just take my mind of the day and you know like cause the way we tell stories is just like it makes the situation so much better if you tell it in a way that’s funny even if it's probably not appropriate but its just how we get through.&#13;
&#13;
I think that's it for questions that I have. So unless there's anything else that you wanna make sure that you get to mention?&#13;
&#13;
One thing that will always stick with me is I walked into, this was my first day on the unit, I walk in this patient’s room, he was about to get downgraded but he was like “You know what gets me a hospital stay?” I’m like what? He’s like I always say “This to will pass.” And I’m like that's when I was just like oh my goodness. Like it's so true it will pass when I don't know. But I think having that mentality, just you have to go in with a positive attitude cause just having a negative one it’s just its gonna make your day so much worse. That was probably the one thing that has stuck with me this entire time and is still sticking with me. Also everyone please get your vaccines. Please get you vaccines the flu one and when they [Covid vaccines] become available in the near future. I just want everyone to know like we will get through this.&#13;
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