My First Days

Akshay Warrier

Far from Home

            After the fear that I felt for Ebola, this novel Coronavirus honestly seemed like a joke. The 2014 outbreak scared me as a child of 13 years, as did the Zika virus, which followed in its footsteps; however, the non-existent impact that both viruses had on my life instilled a false sense of security in my mind. Thus, the Coronavirus seemed like nothing new – it would be a virus that would rampage across specific areas in Asia and necessarily fall through as it reached the industrial walls of more developed countries. Although severely misplaced (and incredibly embarrassing to admit), my confidence in America's capitalistic greatness and selfishness assured me that I would be immune and safe in our bubble of money and advanced technology. By March 10, 2020, the news about the virus was spreading and becoming more serious, labeled as an epidemic and threatening Asia's entirety. My own apprehension only grew as the urgency of Rutgers University emails increased, and more and more events were canceled, along with labs and other social activities. Much of the danger behind the virus flew under the radar for me, as I was dreading an upcoming debate tournament for which I was severely underprepared and desperately hoping that it would be canceled. It was. Like Christmas come early, classes were closed prematurely before spring break, exams postponed, clubs and outside commitments canceled, and the campus attained a liminal status in which the students could enjoy themselves while not worrying about any work. At this point, "Corona" (which quickly became the new vernacular) seemed to be a blessing in disguise! 

            I woke up on the morning of March 11 to about 5 missed calls by my parents and a multitude of texts inquiring about the state of the virus and my speedy return home. The impending discussion included talks of expediated travel – bookings of flights were made, and apocalyptic rhetoric was thrown around casually as my parents insisted that we had to be together as the end of the world happened around me. Although they were excessive in their caution and worry, there was a change in the atmosphere and a sort of chill in the air throughout campus and in the dorms. Following the CDC's announcement on March 11, I soon realized the gravity of the situation that the world was in – this announcement was a critical turning point in the lens through which I was viewing the world. I was terrified not only for my parents and isolation from home, but also for my imminent travels, leaving my girlfriend, and not returning to campus for a long time.

           The following day, I woke up to an incredible barrage of notifications inquiring after my health from friends, family, and acquaintance the like. I immediately called my parents, and they showed me this Facebook post made by my best friend's mother:

The post, filled to the brim with tragedy and import, urged all those who knew me to pray for me and my uniquely dire situation as a student in New Jersey and my impending doom. The deluge of responses and worried queries were mortally embarrassing, albeit touching, but was very indicative of the romanticized and fearful narratives traversing the world. Within the campus, however, parties were rampant, and everyone was enjoying their free-time in a bubble of safety; fraternities were holding parties – one especially notable one was the "NOVID PARTY" - which blatantly disregarded all policies and caution.

            The days around the announcement of the pandemic were chaotic, to say the least. From the complete disregard of rowdy undergraduates to my family indulging in the national toilet paper war, to my friend's creating an altar for me in their house, Coronavirus induced a noticeable volte-face of the people and society around me. Of course, this was nothing compared to the months that would follow, but there was a defined gradient of reaction that everyone followed: from excitement, to worry, to shock, and finally panic. These three days were suffused with emotion and activity, and I battled a two-sided confrontation between my life in Albuquerque and that at Rutgers-Newark.

Spirituality and Death: Living with COVID-19

An Interview with Vidya

This interview was conducted and recorded over the phone with my cousin Vidya Warrier who is currently moving from New Jersey to Tennessee.

            It was a classic watercooler talk at the office when Vidya heard about the Coronavirus in early February, standing around with her coworkers at Johnson and Johnson discussing and joking about the "Chinese virus" and the danger of a New Jersey lockdown. The joke quickly changed its tone as New York had its first case and spread exponentially: posters were put up to promote awareness, and big events were getting closed down very quickly. Despite the noticeable change in the atmosphere, people were aloof throughout New York, ignoring social guidelines and warnings, continuing their lives in a typical fashion. Vidya couldn’t help but share this nonchalance as she was socially coerced into meetings and lunches despite the rumored warnings and quickly became desensitized. The toilet paper war was on, and Vidya was a serious “Warrier” in this battle as well. Although she found the whole situation somewhat amusing and asinine, she was still forced to stock up as the downward spiral of competition and capitalism took effect. Going to the vitamin, grocery, and Indian stores, Vidya stocked up on herbs and dietary supplements, but also essential staples like dal and rice. Additionally, at home, she turned to her developing YouTube channel (The Dancing Warrier) to record her experiences with the virus and the emerging social atmosphere. This began before she was quarantined and continued well into her isolation as it depicted her newly secluded, and somewhat freeing life.

For Vidya, the initial carelessness had severe consequences. In early March, Johnson and Johnson had its first case of Coronavirus; an employee on Vidya's floor contracted the Coronavirus from her husband, who recently returned from Italy on a business trip. Concerned, the office closed down, but not before Vidya herself contracted the virus (tested a few days later, almost right as, or right before, tests started becoming available on March 5) and was faced with a reality unknown to the general American populace before the first wave happened and the pandemic was declared. 

            The exhaustion hit immediately – at home, Vidya felt the beckoning allure of her mattress and comforter, preferring to stay in bed all day with a rising fever and "feeling like something was off…feeling bad". To most, it would be natural to indulge in a frenzy of google searches, exploring cures, treatments, and home care to alleviate the symptoms and to confirm the diagnosis. For Vidya, who has lived her life studying and practicing yoga (specifically isha yoga) and spirituality, and even living much of her life under Sadhguru in the Isha Foundation, she was cautious and aware of the fragility of her psyche and the natural primal fear response that she would necessarily face. As such, withdrawing completely into her intense yogic practices and restorative silence, Vidya focused on spiritual practices centered around the breath and how it manifests in life and death. Although her past experience with yoga and comfort with metaphysical concepts like death prepared her for facing such a dangerous and significant affliction, Vidya found the experience of being infected as a cathartic and profound exploration into her relationship and attitudes towards death. To Vidya, the Coronavirus was a test of her will and ideologies in practices, and fortitude of spirit. Engaging in a modality of a simple diet, powerful mantric-centered meditation, spiritual yogic practices, and ayurvedic and other home remedies, Vidya found the Coronavirus as a method of introspection and a source of spiritual "bliss". Many of her accounts and emotions were recorded and archived in real time through her YouTube channel which she found to be a healthy outlet for her expression. She made videos about her new diet and style of cooking, new habits and daily routines, as well as very raw accounts of her experiences with COVID and the effect of her yogic practices on her situation.

            These were the first days for Vidya, before life changed in any notable way for most Americans. The genesis for her relationship with COVID predated the March 11 CDC announcement and general societal chaos. Although she ascribed to the classic stocking-up practices and nonchalant attitude widely shared by many in society in late February/early March, Vidya had a unique experience being infected by the Coronavirus early on. It tested her roots, but her spirituality and yogic treatments made these times a transformative experience for her.

Link to Archival Record of My First Days: Far from Home

Link to Archival Record of COVID-19 Facebook Post

Link to Archival Record (with recording) of Interview with Vidya