Michael: Stress and anxiety...
Introduction:
Michael is a 39 year-old gay American male with Italian ancestry. He lives in Mount Laurel, New Jersey, with his husband, boyfriend, and children. Michael works in human resources, and he has been working from home either full-time (spring and fall) or half-time (summer) ever since the pandemic began. With three kids and three adults in the house, it's been a stressful year for Michael, who says he is learning to be flexible in the face of the pandemic. Adding to his anxiety, Michael's three children have pre-existing psychological conditions, and he and his husband have decided to divorce. In his interview, however, Michael notes that the decision to divorce was not related to the pandemic. Michael is focusing more on his children, especially since their family life has been greatly affected by safety guidelines. In fact, his children have been unable to see their grandparents all year. Unlike most aspects of his life, Michael's sex life has not been greatly affected by the pandemic. His boyfriend has been living in his household for over three years, and their relationship is currently closed as Michael goes through his divorce and focuses on his kids. In the past, one source of sexual intimacy outside of his household has been business travel. However, despite an upcoming business trip (the first of the year), Michael is too anxious about the possibility of bringing Covid-19 home to his family to seek out any new partners, especially since Covid-19 can be transmitted while asymptomatic. “It's like another sexually transmitted disease, like you know, it's something else I have to watch out for,” says Michael. He feels that travel requires caution to begin with, and he doesn't want to add any additional activities that would make his travels even less safe.
Notable Quotes:
HOW HAS THE PANDEMIC AFFECTED YOUR LIFE GENERALLY?
“The shutdown and my children doing remote school, my entire family living in the house, and then in terms of my employment, we originally went to a full work from home for all employees who could, and then we switched mid-summer to a shift structure, where we split the company in half, and half of the people went in, and half of the people worked remotely and then vise versa. And we actually, just recently, went back to a work from home situation. So, it's been a year of being flexible and being able to do what you can. There's been stress, and I think, I just think, especially with my children, who have pre-existing psychological conditions, I just, it's been a stressful year with all of that.”
HOW HAS THE PANDEMIC AFFECTED YOUR SEX LIFE?
“I don't know if it's greatly affected our sex life or my sex life really at all. I would be lying if I told you anything necessarily changed really with it. You know, we were, again, while I was married prior to the conversation around the divorce, we were open in some aspects, but I was never the person who was initiating finding other partners or anything like that. Since the decision of the divorce, you know, my boyfriend was already living with us, and obviously is still living with us. And, you know, we decided to close it up while all of this was going on. That was more my request: I wanted to get through the divorce, I wanted to be focusing on the kids, but again, prior to that it's not like either my boyfriend or I were going out and doing anything anyway. You know, I think the silliest way it's affected it is just, you know, the moment someone says you can't have something, you want it, type of concept.”
“The most I ever really found other sexual partners was when I traveled for work. I travel fairly regularly for work. And I am traveling in a month... ...And then my boyfriend and I actually just had that conversation, and he was like, you know, if you want to find someone you can. And I was like, I don't, I have no desire, because of the anxiety around it.”