RL: A stressful year, but with positives...
Introduction:
RL is a gay male healthcare worker in New Jersey. As a healthcare worker, RL's life has been pretty directly affected by the Covid-19 pandemic. He knows many front-line workers in the industry, some of whom have sadly passed away this year. Despite noting the respite in case numbers over the summer, RL describes this year as having been very stressful. However, the pandemic has enhanced his sex life with his partner. Since the pandemic began, “we're having more sex, we're having better sex,” and, “it's, overall, been pretty positive.” According to RL, they have become more experimental in the bedroom than they had been previously. RL and his partner have been together for 15 years, live together, and own a house together. Owing to the fact that they are very secure in their relationship, just prior to the Covid-19 pandemic, RL and his partner had decided to open their sex life to other participants. However, because of the pandemic, they have only met with two new people in the last nine months. RL seeks out such encounters online, where he chats with people in search of connections that interest him. If a connection is formed, he and his partner meet them casually at first to see if there is mutual attraction. During his time chatting online, RL has noticed that some people are being more careful because of the pandemic, while others are not. Additionally, especially in March, April, and May, many people online were venting their fears and frustrations about the pandemic. However, nine months later, RL says people have become tone deaf, and they are not talking as much about the pandemic as they did in the spring. In such chats, conversations about the pandemic have morphed into a simple question of status, not unlike questions about HIV or other sexually transmitted infections. Do you have Covid-19? Have you been tested for Covid-19? When was the last time you were tested for Covid-19?
Notable Quotes:
HOW HAS THE PANDEMIC AFFECTED YOUR LIFE IN GENERAL?
“It's been very stressful, knowing a lot of people that I work with are front-line workers and are directly getting themselves exposed to the virus. A lot of people, many people, not a lot, but many people that I've known have gotten the virus. Unfortunately, some have passed away from it. So, it's been, it's been a very stressful nine months.”
HOW HAS THE PANDEMIC AFFECTED YOUR SEX LIFE?
“So, it has affected us in the sense of, it has given us more time to be with each other. So, it definitely has enhanced our sex life. We've definitely become a little bit more experimental than we used to be before with our sex life. And, it's, it's overall been pretty positive. We're definitely having more sex, we're having better sex, than we did before. So, that has been the one positive thing of this pandemic.”
TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARTNER.
“We're now, it's weird, RIGHT before the pandemic we decided to open up our relationship because, you know, we're very secure with each other... ...so, we have fun together, but, of course, that's when the pandemic happened and that shut everything down so, that was the extent of us opening up our relationship [chuckles].”
WHAT ARE YOU NOTICING ABOUT THE CONVERSATIONS YOU ARE HAVING ONLINE WITH PROSPECTIVE PARTNERS?
“I guess the people that I chat with are people that, you know, are more careful because, I think, I just want to be more careful. And, people who want to be very casual, I don't necessarily chat too much with them.”
“So, I would say, during March, April, and May when things were really bad in the tri-state area, [the pandemic] used to come up more often. People would express their fears, and they would talk about, you know, what's going on with the infections and the rate of infections and the deaths and so on and so forth a little bit more. Sort of became like a venting forum for some people, including myself, you know.”
“Then, during the lull months of summer, it pretty much would just come down to, in terms of your status: sexually transmitted infections, and HIV, and of course Covid.”